Estate Planning for Couples: 6 Decisions You Should Make Together—Before One of You Has to Make Them Alone

Couples make thousands of decisions together throughout a lifetime.

Where to live. How to raise a family. When to retire. How to spend and save. Where to travel. Maybe even whose turn it is to empty the dishwasher.

But some of the most important decisions couples need to make together are also among the easiest to postpone.

What happens if one of you can no longer make decisions?

And what happens when one of you eventually has to move forward without the other?

Estate planning gives couples an opportunity to answer those questions together—while both people can participate in the conversation.

Here are six important decisions worth discussing.

1. Who Will Handle Finances?

Many married couples assume they can automatically manage everything for one another.

But marriage does not necessarily give a spouse unlimited legal authority over individually owned accounts, contracts, property, or other financial matters.

A Durable Financial Power of Attorney can give your spouse—or another person you trust—the legal authority needed to help.

Couples should also discuss who serves as the backup if the spouse cannot.

2. Who Will Make Health Care Decisions?

For many couples, the answer is immediately, “My spouse.”

But don’t stop there.

Who would make decisions if you were both injured in the same accident? Who would step in if your spouse had already passed away or was unable to serve?

Naming primary and alternate health care decision-makers helps prevent uncertainty during difficult moments.

Just as importantly, couples should talk about their wishes.

A document can identify who makes the decision. A conversation helps that person understand what you would want.

3. What Happens Financially After the First Death?

Couples often plan as though everything will simply pass to the surviving spouse.

Sometimes that’s appropriate. Sometimes additional planning makes sense.

Consider questions such as:

• Will the surviving spouse have enough income?
• What happens to the home?
• Are there children from previous relationships?
• Are there assets you want preserved for children or grandchildren?
• Could long-term care needs affect the surviving spouse’s financial security?

Thinking beyond the first transfer can help protect both generations.

4. Are Your Beneficiary Designations Coordinated?

Retirement accounts, life insurance, and other assets may transfer according to beneficiary designations rather than your will.

Couples should periodically review these designations together.

Old designations can create unintended results, particularly after marriages, divorces, deaths, or other major family changes.

Your beneficiary designations should support your overall estate plan—not accidentally undermine it.

5. Who Will Handle Things When You’re Both Gone?

Eventually, someone else may need to administer the estate or trust.

Who is best suited for that responsibility?

Your oldest child isn’t automatically the right choice. Consider who is organized, trustworthy, financially responsible, and capable of navigating family dynamics.

If you don’t have someone appropriate—or don’t want to place that burden on family—a professional fiduciary may be worth considering.

6. What Do You Want Your Family to Know?

Not every estate planning decision belongs in a legal document.

Talk about your values.

Talk about meaningful possessions. Talk about the family home. Talk about charitable intentions. Talk about what you hope the assets you’ve accumulated will accomplish for the people you love.

Those conversations can become an important part of the legacy you leave behind.